Trini GRITS Top 15 - Things Heard On Police Car Videos

>> Friday, March 12

Rounding out our funny ha ha law enforcement moments for the day, I thought would share some funny things heard on police videos. These were all pretty good. 

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country. To see more funny ha ha cop stories and jokes, click here.
15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." 
13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."  MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE!!!!!! LOL!!!!! 
6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven"
5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
4. "Just how big were those two beers?"
3. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC (National Crime Information Center)."
2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours at least you know someone who can post your bail."
And.................... Number ONE !!!!!!!
1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't!


Anonymous March 16, 2010 at 3:03 AM  

I wiii be using those signed Big Daddy

Trini GRITS March 16, 2010 at 5:41 PM  

Of course you will. I knew you would enjoy this post, they all sound like things you would say. LOL. You bring humor and joy to my world with your stories.

Now, Detective, I'm going to need you to play nice on the playground today with the other kids. Okay? OK!

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